Some days when I get caught up in the “I’m not sure how much more of this I can take” parenting trap. I need to regroup, refocus and revisit some of my posts from the past just to see how far we’ve come. It’s all about perspective and not saying how much is wrong now but in fact how much is right.

Today I went back to a post from October 23rd, 2008 and it gave me a brand new perspective for today. We have climbed many mountains, we have seen many success, we are moving forward each and every day and we are all exactly where we are meant to be. Here’s an excerpt from that post so long ago but yet so vivid in my memory.

Originally posted October 23, 2008

Today was such a hard day that I have to admit it’s very difficult to write this blog. I have so many emotions welling inside that I’m finding it really difficult to keep focused on writing just one thing. Today was the transition day to Syndey staying for lunch. The plan that we (the Behaviour Action Team, the youth and child counsellor and I) came up with was that I would go in the school for lunch and stay for the first 15/20 minutes and then take my leave. There would be a support person there for her when she had to transition for recess outside and with each few days I will cut down the amount of time I’m there. I’m in the classroom with the intention that I’m a classroom monitor and not just there for Sydney. What a catastrophe and what a revelation!

The catastrophe first. I left my house and I always have to leave 5 minutes before the actual time because the school clocks are not in synch with mine by any means. So I left my house at what I thought was an appropriate time and as I’m locking my door I can hear the school bell ring. DAMN! Thankfully we are only the other block so I ran to the school thinking to myself, “Sure the first day of her staying at school and I”m late. What a great mom I am?”.  I came in through the front doors and walked up the stairs to the classroom and only half of them were there. I asked where the rest of the class was and I was told that they were washing their hands. I went down the hall past the cavelry of children and peeked into the bathroom, no Sydney? That was strange. So back I go to the classroom which is now full of hungry 6 year olds and all the desks were full except Sydney’s. Standing at the door I mutter, “Where’s Sydney?”. One of the little girls told me that she was down in the office. “The office” I thought to myself, so down I go to find her in the office. I swear it was like a bad sitcom. I get to the office and the secretary immediately stops me at the door and says, “You’re looking for Sydney? She’s just gone up to her classroom.” WHAT…I’ve just ran a mini marathon and there’s only 20 minutes for lunch and it’s the first day and holy cow how in the world did this get so out of control and oh my God I’m tired.

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What’s your perspective for today?